Feeling Stuck?

Do you feel as if you should be more, or be someplace other than where you are?

You really want to get out of the feeling of feeling stuck.

First, look at your thinking, you are probably engaged in some sort of stinking thinking, which is created by some expectation you feel you should be meeting, but don't feel you have measured up in some way.

Ok, so you notice that you are engaged in some sort of thinking that is keeping you stuck.

Take a deep breath and notice where you are. Are you in a chair, a bed? Notice how your body feels where you are. Take another deep breath and notice what is pleasant about where you are.

Be in the moment of where you are, breathe in again and notice how your body takes in the air to fill your body with oxygen. Exhale, and imagine that the stinking thinking going out with the air.

This time as you breathe in, imagine your lungs are like balloons, filling from the bottom to the top with air that is

energizing and healing. Exhale, and imagine the darkness that you have withing leaving your body.

Inhale, and imagine the air is like a bright light filling your body with love and comfort. Say the word peace slowly as you exhale stress or pain.

Inhale,and hold the breath for a count of four. Exhale,let go and feel yourself only in the moment.

Inhale and imagine that the air is filled with peace. Exhale and release anything that all discord leaving your life.

Inhale and feel that you are comforted by just being in the moment.

Exhale, knowing that all you need is in this moment.


Breathe normally and imagine peace surrounding you. Be here for a few moments.

Now, you may like to read a couple of articles to help you stay in good thought.
So here are some links to help you:
www.huffingtonpost.com/elyse-gorman/15-damaging-myths-about-l_b_6324636.html

changeyourstinkingthinking.com/pdfs/stinking-thinking-3-step-free.pdf

FEAR

Oh my gosh!! Can you name all the things to be afraid of? Unreal isn't it? What to do? How do you keep from not scaring yourself silly? Well, first, we have to calm down a bit and realize that we are not in charge of much. You don't control your heart rate or your breath completely. Also, it seems that only 8% of what we worry about actually happens . So if that is so, then we are stressing a lot and causing ourselves a lot of fear tremors in our body from what goes on in the mind. So if what happens in the mind is important, but don't worry, even that is not all under our control. Thank goodness for the unconscious mind. I will discuss more of this later on.

For now, here are some sites that you can click on to learn more about mindfulness and how you can be more at peace in your daily life.

Mindfulness

Depression

Stress

CBT Yea!!!

Procrastination, something you never put off, lol.

Ok, that is enough for now. Until next time, be at peace and if you want, read more from this guy

Limiting Beliefs

I offer you this video to help you work through your limiting beliefs:

https://www.youtube.com/user/josephcloughhypnosis


Now you can learn to move forward to get better and be your best!!!

codependency traits

The Common Traits of Codependency
There may be a few or several things that you identify with. Be honest and rate yourself from 1-5 if you identify.
1. I use things/people/ externally to feel good about myself internally
2. Difficulty identifying feelings accurately: Angry, lonely, scared, sad
3. Difficulty letting go of the past (unforgiveness, resentments, sadness)
4. I blame others behaviors for how I feel
5. Difficulty setting boundaries for myself
6. I take things personally and it affects my day
7. Difficulty forming or maintaining personal relationships
8. People either control me, or I control others
9. I question if my needs are important in relationships
10. Need approval from others to be OK
11. Difficulty dealing with conflict. Afraid to tell others what you really think and want
12. Have anxiety and fear a lot of the time
13. Have feelings of “not good enough” or shame often
14. Put others needs before my own. Rescue others at times
15. Have trouble having fun and enjoying life
16. Stay stuck in unhealthy relationships
17. Not owning your own power/give my power over to others
18. Use food to comfort myself and stuff emotions
19. Tend to have a lot of drama in my life with my relationships
20. Put others needs and wants before your own to please others
21. Fear being rejected and abandoned by others/trust issues

This list is from: WWW.INSIDEOUTWELLNESSCOACH.COM

Ok, you may have some traits, but try not to get stuck on being stuck. All people experience some sort of disorder emotionally or mentally. It is what fortunately and unfortunately makes us human. So do not put too much emphasis on the list, just know that you are human and that emotions can be tricky business. Focus on what you do well and do more of that so that you are putting more attention on who YOU are and what YOU do and less focus on what others are doing and how they are behaving. Some people are caught up in codependency because they look to others to take care of them. They often look for validation from others in order to feel secure with themselves. This creates a vicious cycle of feeling secure and then blaming others when the person does not feel secure.
Another form of co-dependence is one who takes on people to take care of, because this helps them find meaning and purpose in their lives. They hate to lose that person that depends on them because then they feel this horrible loss, as if purpose and meaning has been sucked out of their lives.
Both are wrong assumptions of relationships. The reality is that people will come and go in your life and having a relationship should be more of a live and let live attitude that will allow you to observe what is going on without getting caught up in it. Being involved with others in a manner that allows for the ebb and flow of life is the best way to engage in a relationship. But, that is easier said than done, for we are emotional beings and we often take the actions of others personally.
So how does one become more self-reliant? It is a process that takes time, because you did not get here overnight and you will not get out that way. (Maybe someday technology will create a quick fix, but for now, it is an inside job that we must do). So for now, I am going to refer you to some material that I thought to be very helpful. You will no doubt notice it refers to bipolar people, but please don’t let that detour you. Give it a try. It is only a starting place, but mindfulness on a problem can reveal a solution that has a long lasting impact, much better than acting out of fear and impulsiveness. http://www.bipolarsjuk.se/pdf/Handbook%20in%20DBT%20Group.pdf

Counseling Services

I want to share with you my thoughts about counseling and my services as well as my philosophy for counseling.

I decided to go into the counseling profession because I think how one interacts with himself or herself and others is one of the most important things to consider in life. I have to admit that I wanted to learn more about myself and the counseling profession has certainly helped me to do just that. My philosophy is as follows: I do believe that we are to some extent a product of our upbringing and so knowing about one's childhood is important. But that is not to say that one is stuck because of the past. If one is stuck in blame and shame because of the past then that person tends to display a victim mentality. Counseling can help a person to get unstuck and become more of a survivor, despite a painful past. How does one change? Through the thought process and that is why my main focus in therapy is cognitive therapy. You can look it up and you may also want to check out: 11 beliefs that cause problems (you may want to look up on several sites for yourself).
If one can change the thought process then one can change the outlook and therefore life. It is not an easy process. The mind is a stubborn customer and it will provide many reasons why you cannot change, but you do have free will and you can make changes, and even small changes can have long lasting positive and powerful effects.

If you want, you can read more Mental Health Counseling

Bipolar

BIPOLAR
Oh if you are here, you either know someone who is bipolar, or you are bipolar. Being bipolar can seem pretty awful, very confusing and frustrating. A horrible feeling of being a misfit, like others “get it”, but you have been left in the cold to lick your wounds and figure things out on your own. What to do, where to go, who so you trust? It seems as others are going through life and picking things up and laying them down, as if they have it together, and you are left feeling like a misfit and misunderstood. Soon the depression sets in and you refuse to get out of bed until things make sense, someone rescues you from this horrible torment, or you find relief in some way. No help seems to come, so you may finally get up and soon mania may take over and you are going to go out and conquer the world, so you try many things and some are out of control, crazy, impulsive stuff. Soon the depression returns and the thoughts of feeling confused take over again. The cycle winds round and round. You can see how horrible this condition can be. But there are some positive things about this condition. Yes, some of the most creative people are bipolar, or may have other mental maladies, such as autism, but these people are often the most special people you will ever meet. They are authentic, and not looking to manipulate, but only to feel deep and express the inner self that they tap into often, because the outer chaos is often just too much. Bipolar people often live within themselves more than in the world, so they often feel that they are missing part of life, but this inner life is what makes them so special.
These people are often great artists (not always famous, because many hate the limelight and invasion of privacy). They are in touch with the inner self in a way that is often beyond words. These people are very special, very loving, sensitive, and feel deeply in a world that is often very insensitive and harsh.
Recently, I have taken a course called Bipolar In Order and it has helped me to sort things out more in my own life. Oh, I never told you I was bipolar? Well, I can’t say I was every formally diagnosed, but I see the signs in myself from my mother and possibly even my father. I know the struggle very well and I am often angry that I am not more “normal”, but the gift for me is that I do have a better understanding of the condition, so I can tap into my clients better.
Anyway, back to the class. It has been helpful for me and I am sure others could benefit from it as well. Anyone, who has any type of condition, knows that it must be a priority in order to manage it. If you are diabetic, it is best that you check your blood levels often so that you know what is going on. So it is with bipolar. You must pay attention to what is going on so that you can manage the condition.
Yes, it is work, but doing things impulsively is only harmful and makes life very messy. So, you may want to check out bipolarinorder as a place to start to learn about some new tools and how to use bipolar to your advantage.

Suicide and Depression

I was going to title this blog only as: Suicide, and that was before last Monday. When someone takes his or her own life it hits hard the ones that stay behind. It often seems so unfair and unnecessary.

I have read that depressed people may be more realistic, but that they don’t live as long. Some as you know, because they take their own lives. Many people feel that it is a very wrong thing to do to take one’s own life. Yet we put animals down all the time. If one is suffering from physical pain, some might agree to allow a person to be free of the body, but if one is suffering mental distress, then that is supposedly different. What does the depressed person want but peace? If one can know that there is peace without the body, then it would make sense that the person would want to be free of it. No one really knows that there is peace after the body is gone, but many people may think it is an alternative to what is going on in their lives. Which is often chaos going in in the head. Misery seemingly from just experiencing the human form. So changing what is going on in the head can be an alternative to leaving the body.

This week, I offer several links to changing the stinking thinking,and maybe someday there will be a quicker fix, but for now, making the change from within seems to be the way to bring about lasting change to thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness. Often, medication can assist in the process. It is not an easy process and maybe someday, technology will be able to assist with the shift in the mind, so that depression is not allowed to debilitate a person.

The depression can seem to eat away at a person, and often it feels that the thoughts are just uncontrollable and one can seem how many people medicate with alcohol and drugs.

So this week, see if you can turn the thinking around, if only for a short time and let go of the agony.

This is from http://mentorschannel.com/html/mentorsletter/intro/intro006.htm
In recent weeks, there has been more and more stress in our region, with two opposing forces paralleling life within and outside of us. The world is a mirror of what is happening within us and the only way to achieve peace is to create inner peace. Peace between the various parts of us, peace between the spiritual and physical, and between our 4 dimensions: Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual.

Stop Over Thinking

Destructive Thoughts

Working toward Peace of Mind

Peaceful breathing


So, there has to be a change in your outlook, but who is to say you are wrong for the way you are thinking? Some people say they are sick and tired of being sick and tired, or that they are just tired of life in general. But living from the inside out, rather than the outside in can give you a new outlook and help you to feel more connected, loving, and find more purpose and meaning in your life. I wish all people peace and harmony, and if more people would work together to help each other, then joy would be more abundant for all.

Depression Session 2 8.10.14

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation and freedom in all just pursuits.
By Thomas Jefferson http://www.motivationalquotes101.com/quotes-by-thomas-jefferson-88.html


Depression is beautiful?



Sri Daya Mata writes from Finding the JOY within you: “Introspection is a very healthy practice as long as you do not employ it to dwell on your weaknesses until you re plunged into depression, or onto such feelings of guilt that you begin to hate yourself. That is a misuse and abuse of self-analysis”. P 117

From the book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie: “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness-and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness does not depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions”. P 71

If you find yourself in a downward spiral, imagine you are like a plane spinning into a crash and ground control is commanding you to: Pull UP!! Pull Up!! It is what we must do when we allow some outer circumstance to spin us out of control. Controlling things from the inside out is a powerful way to control your energy and your mood.

Stress!!!

Oh! Not Again!
Can you identify with this feeling?
It seems that most people are feeling a lot of stress these days due to so much pressure from so many directions.

I would like to invite you to try a 28 day stress reduction program, and if it does not work then you can go right back to the way you were doing things, and you can have a complete refund of all the stress you have been experiencing and possibly even more.

I have a theory that if one can be more at peace within, then the outer life will also be more peaceful. I am not saying this is an easy thing to do, but I would like you to give it a try.

1st read the following and complete the steps.

2nd, you can begin by working your own program and considering what works best for you, I have some suggestions here, but you can find your best fit for your time of day and activities that you want to do.

Here are some suggestions: Begin each morning with 15- 20 minutes of breathing exercise, breath in for a count of four seconds, hold for 6 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds, really push the air out. Repeat this exercise at night as well.

Exercise everyday in some way for 15 -20 minutes and yes, you can combine breath with some exercise such as walking or yoga.

Read or view some inspirational information each day. Whatever you find inspirational, put that into your brain's processor each day. Some suggestions are: Mother Theresa, William James , Tony Robbins. Maya Angelou, or you may find your own to read or view.

Journal: This can be the hardest step, but keeping a log of just your thoughts and feelings for the day can be a powerful way to see yourself and be able to better analyze the stressors in your life and how you can make changes.

That is it, follow this program for 28 days without fail, do not let it be a form of stress for you, you should enjoy the process, otherwise you are only adding to the problem.

3rd After you have completed the 28 days, drop me a line, share with others. Has your life changed? Are things at least a little better in your life? Are you managing or coping better with some things?

The Secret of Silencing Your Noisy Mind
by Guy Finley

Part 1

The only reason your mind won't stop its endless chattering... is because you won't stop listening to it!

Part 2

Talking to ourselves to comfort ourselves makes sense only until we realize that talking to what troubles us, in the hopes of quieting it down, is like blowing kisses to a fire hoping that a show of affection will cool its flame.

Detect, Stop, and Drop Inner "Voices"
The best time to practice going quiet -- to detect and drop dark inner voices -- is when the world around you is more or less already in a natural state of silence. So, early morning, upon arising, and just before you go to sleep, are the most likely times to yield the best results. But, as you'll no doubt come to discover for yourself, any time is the right time to go quiet.

Find a place to sit where your back can be more or less supported and held straight. Let your hands rest, open or closed, in any position that won't cause tension to themselves, your arms, or shoulders, as you remain seated for the duration of your practice. Twenty to thirty minutes, twice a day, is a suggested minimum time to sit quietly. But do the best you can. There are no laws that govern inner silence. Besides, the day may come when you'd like to sit for longer durations, so you be the judge. Let the length of this time for inner quiet be whatever it wants to be.

Allow your legs to assume whatever position is most naturally relaxed for them. It's better if you don't cross your legs one over the other, as this posture interferes with your circulation, and the ensuing discomfort will become a distraction.

Once your body is situated and in relative ease, close your eyes and let your awareness sweep over the whole of your body. Adjust your limbs again, if necessary, so that no individual part of your physical self is calling out for your attention.

Now, with your eyes still gently closed, let your shoulders take the full weight of your head. You should actually be able to feel the physical transfer of this weight take place.

Then, give the weight of your shoulders and your arms to the armrests of your chair, or to whatever part of your body is beneath them. If you're doing this properly, you'll be surprised how much of your own bodily weight you were unnecessarily supporting without knowing it!

Finally, give all of this collective weight -- head, shoulders, arms, upper body, buttocks and legs -- to the chair or sofa you're sitting upon. Consciously transfer the weight. Let it go. Then let yourself sink into the feeling that comes with releasing all this unconscious physical stress and tension.

The next step is to continue expanding this relaxed and increased awareness of your body to include within it the awareness of your thoughts and feelings. In other words, bring into your enhanced physical awareness the further awareness of what your mind and emotions are doing in the moment. You watch yourself. You're to be an impartial witness to the life of your own thoughts and feelings. Let them fly and hop around within you without the slightest concern for their direction or character. Neither resist, nor let yourself be drawn into any of their attention-stealing antics.

Again, all you want to do is watch. Detached self-observation is your aim. So each time it comes to you to realize that you're no longer watching, but rather that you've been captured by a thought or feeling, and are being carried along by it, just quietly withdraw yourself from that temporary psychic wave. Come back to the awareness of yourself in the Present Moment. This part of your practice is the heart and soul of going -- and knowing -- quiet. You must experience it for yourself. So, as you sit: Let go; give up; go within, and watch. And over and over again, bring your awareness of yourself back into the awareness of the Present Moment.

Pay no attention to what your own thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you the whole time you're sitting. Which is namely this: "You should give up this worthless, unproductive practice!"

Learn to watch, and drop, these dark inner voices. They don't want you to succeed and there's a good reason why: They can not dwell in that silent world you wish to enter, and that wishes to enter you.

So persist! You will prevail. For even as you struggle to stay aware of yourself in the Present Moment, that moment itself, changes. And as it does, so do you.

Slowly, subtly at first, but eventually even beyond those protestations raised by your own mind, the distinction between your sense of self and your awareness of the Present Moment melts away. And as it does, a new, deeper sense of silence floods into you; filling your awareness with itself and, at the same time, with yet another Awareness that the source of this supreme stillness is arising out of your own Being. It washes everything out of its way. And so arrives a quiet mind.

This article is excerpted from Design Your Destiny



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WORRY

When do you worry? What do you worry about? Do you know that most of the time what one worries about does not occur? Check it out for yourself and start a worry log and see how often you are right.
Here is another article for you to read:
Stop Worrying
By Tara Deliberto, M.A.

While solving problems and thinking ahead are beneficial strategies, worrying just seems to cause distress. But if worrying causes more problems than it solves, what is the use? There must be a reason why 19 million Americans have been classified as chronic worriers. Perhaps this is partially because just putting an end to worrying isn’t that easy.
Luckily, psychological scientists have come up with several strategies for ending worry! Here are some tips:
1. First, you want to reduce your vulnerability to worrying by taking care of yourself. Make sure you sleep and eat right.

2. Second, when you catch yourself worrying, take a few minutes to calm yourself through meditation, listening to music, or deep breathing.

3. Once you’re in a more relaxed state, try to examine whether or not your thoughts are productive and problem solving focused. Pick out what thoughts can be useful in helping you solve a practical problem. Label the rest as worries.

4. Examine the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself questions like:
o What the probability of my thought being true?
o What is the likelihood that what I fear will actually happen?
o Is having this thought helpful?
o If a friend had this worry, what would I say?

5. If you find yourself worrying about what you cannot change, remind yourself that struggling with what you cannot control will only make it worse. Acceptance of what you cannot change is much more favorable strategy.

Mental Health Apps

If the BLUES seem to follow you around, then you can take some therapy with you to counteract that stinking thinking and take control of the movie in your mind.


Cognitive Therapy


Moody Me (I Phone)


Health Through Breath


Smiling Mind


Super Better On the computer or,(a game for Iphone) 4.99


Depression Self-Help Guide


Positive Thinking

Resilience

Resilience 7/10/2014
When you feel life has kicked you in the butt, how to you come back from that? How do you step up and start over after the wind has been knocked out of your sail? When trauma hits it can debilitate a person for a long time. One reason this happens is fear. There you were riding along in life and you thought you had a good handle on things when whoosh!! Suddenly things changed and you found yourself in a foreign land and unsure how to start again. You became fearful, because you thought you knew the way and now you may feel you know nothing. You have no idea of how to pick up the pieces and start again. The strange thing about this, is life continues to go on despite the crash that has occurred in your life. When a tragedy happens, we often feel as if life itself should stop, but of course, it continues to march right on, with us included. We move on and take the tragic event with us as part of our life experience and if we learn from it, we grow, but if not we stagnate and then into despair and possibly anger.
Being resilient is moving on, life has changed and so must you. You cannot go back, you must move forward. Take the experience with you and GROW on.
Here are a few quotes to help you change your thought process and then some articles to help you on your way.

It's not the situation. It's your reaction to the situation.
• Robert Conklin

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

If you can't fly, then run.
If you can't run, then walk.
If you can't walk, then crawl.
But whatever you do, keep moving.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Afraid of Failure

Distraction

Scientific Mindset

Transform Grief

Faith (with a yoga twist)

Resistance

Resistance Isn’t it a strange thing about humans, how resistance we can be? For example, a person may know that he or she needs to lose weight, quit smoking, work harder, and yet the opposite comes to roost and the person becomes resistant to the thing that he or she knows is the better choice. We often sabotage our own success. A video for you: Reading: 1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and recognize them as protective, self-preserving signals from your subconscious. 2. Accept your emotional reaction to change and give your feelings expression. Expressing your feelings is healthy, as long as it is not at anyone else’s expense. Cry if you are sad, laugh if you are joyous, and scream if you feel frustrated (you may want to consider screaming into a pillow or when you are alone in your car!). Talk to someone you trust, or write or “journal” if that is more your style. You need to give yourself the opportunity to release emotional energy before you can get logical and practical about the change. 3. Explore the messages your emotions are bringing to you. Ask, “What are my feelings telling me?” Be nonjudgmental and honest with yourself—especially when you examine your negative emotions. 4. Write down your hopes as well as your fears and concerns in a journal or on a piece of paper. Things are a lot less scary when they are not whirling aimlessly in your head. Sometimes your fears have no base in reality, but you can’t see that until you look at them closely. 5. Write down your questions about the change and try to find out the answers to as much of them as you can. Remember—less “unknown” means less “fear”! 6. Study what you have written. Doubtless all the outcomes you consider are possible—but which ones are most probable? Identify and focus on those that are likely to happen and let go of the far-fetched concerns for now. 7. Prepare yourself the best way you can for the likely outcomes. Control and influence what you can in the process and let go of the rest. There is no point in wasting energy on something you cannot do anything about. Make a transition plan that considers all your options, your support system, and your behavioral response to change. Excerpt from "Change Thrivers—Your Resource Guide for Making Change Work" www.ChangeThriversBook.com

Trauma

As I mentioned in an earlier post, depression is not trauma, but trauma can bring about depression. When a person has experienced trauma, it can make the person feel stuck and unable to move forward in life. Horrific events are traumatic, but also traumas include losing a job, experiencing a divorce, being bullied, or other losses that to others might seem trite, but for some they are debilitating. Read here to learn more about Trauma and PTSD How do you move forward from trauma? It takes time and re-programing the mind. This can be done through cognitive therapy, hypnosis, or a combination of both and other techniques, such as narrative therapy. If you would like to learn more about these on you own, you can learn more here More information on PTSD and effective treatments can be found here. A revolutionary treatment can be found here There are some positive effects of trauma Life is difficult in many ways, and starting over again from a trauma takes time, a good support system, and changing the way one does things. Trauma can be a good teacher and lessons it teaches can make you stronger in many ways.

Depression Session One

Depression Session One

6/4/2014

I write about depression again, because it is one of the things I deal with on a regular basis, both with clients and also for myself. I think it is a wretched thing that torments people from the inside out. I have seen people that would have good reason to be depressed that weren't, and some people who are very sensitive about many things, and therefore often depressed. It is a mindset, which stems from the conversations that we have with ourselves.

I want to clarify that depression is not the same as trauma. If you have had a horrible event in your life then you are working through something that takes time to heal, that is not the same as depression. I will discuss more on trauma on a different blog.

Depression is a personal experience that has some roots in genetics and some from childhood,but it is a workable condition. Medication can be helpful, but one still needs to do the work to control the mind.

So, think about this, if you cannot use the word “I” then you cannot be depressed, because depression often stems from thoughts about yourself and how you d feel you are not good enough and so on. I would like to share a quote with you from Eknath Easwaran : "Dwelling on oneself is the root cause of most personal problems. The more pre-occupied we are with our private fears, resentments, cravings - the more power they have over us." Googlebooks

Here are some Other thoughts on depression

Other countries and depression

You may want to read some quotes about depression:

Some say that depression is selfish.

Here is something to listen to. It is very peaceful that can help you with anxiety,depression, and procrastination.

I also have an audio that you can listen to, that you may find helpful:

Ok, enough of that, now it is time to put a little fun in your life each day: http://www.mindspringshealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Calendar_2014_Main_small.pdf

Defeat

Have you been hurt, knocked down, lied to, used, or in some other way defeated? The following link shares some stories of people who have had to overcome defeat. It seems that we all have to get up and show up each day, no matter what. Find something to fight for, something to believe in and it will bring you back to a sense of purpose in your being. Be loving to others and yourself each day, and that will help you feel more powerful. Read more: here

Life Path

If you lost your passion somewhere along the way, take a deep breath and move on, it will be ok. Life is showing you the way. Remember the song: If you want to listen to it, you can find it here Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? do you know? Do you get what you're hoping for? When you look behind you there's no open door What are you hoping for? Do you know? Once we were standing still in time Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds You knew i loved you, but my spirit was free Laughing at the question that you once ask me Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? do you know? Now, looking back in all we pass We've let so many dreams just slip through our hands Why must we wait so long before we see How sad the answers to those questions can be? Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? Where are you going to? do you know? Do you get what you're hoping for? When you look behind you there's no open door What are you hoping for? do you know? Well, we may not always know, but keep the passion in life. Make sure you connect with something you love each day. You can make a difference, even if it is a small one. Here is some wisdom for you to use. http://www.andreabalt.com/wisdom-bites-for-dreamers-doers/

Anger

Anger is a powerful emotion, but it is not a bad thing.   It is an energy that is triggered to let you know that something is wrong.   Here are somethings that make me angry: It is how you choose to focus the energy that can become a problem.

Understanding what your triggers are and then how you handle the situation is important.

Are you simply reacting to a situation that upsets you?  For example, the driver in front of you is not driving properly.  You are angry because you think that person should be doing something else, and maybe you think that the person should be punished for not driving properly.  You may think, “ I’ll show him”.  And you may swerve in front of the person to demonstrate how wrong he is and to punish him for his wrong doing.  What you are doing is being reactive to a situation and you have become upset and caused havoc in your own psychology and physiology because of an event that you really have no control over.

Here might be another way to handle the situation:  You decide to be proactive with your anger and choose to ignore the situation as there is nothing you can really do to change it. You decide to go home and write a blog on what it means to be a good driver, you teach your children good driving techniques, you practice deep breathing exercises to strengthen your inner calm so others cannot push your buttons so quickly.

Being mindful takes time and patience.  It is wisdom in action and it is much more powerful than being impulsive.  There is a time and place to react quickly when one is angered, but learning the difference can  be beneficial in many ways.

So here is a link to a course that I created and you can take it for free (lucky you!!).

The following information will offer you more ideas on controlling anger:

A children’s book, but with a lot of good information about how to control anger.

  

 Controlling angerbefore it controls you

Ten Tips for controlling anger management/art-20045434

Sixteen tips for controlling anger, based on yourpersonality

May is Mental Health Month

Mental Health Month

http://www.northtampabehavioralhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/18/2014/05/Newsletter-May-2014.pdf

May is mental health month.  Mental health is one of the most ignored areas in the health field.  One’s physical health is seen as more important, I guess because it can be seen.  However, studies have shown that physical illness is often related to mental health. 

Also, New news indicates that being exposed to bullies can be mentally harmful.

One report indicates that Seventy-five percent to 90% of all doctor's office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.

Read more here

So why is there such a stigma treating mental health as a bad thing?  Why do some people say to others, “You need counseling!” As if getting counseling were a bad thing?  Why is physical pain acceptable, but mental anguish seen as a weakness? 

Mental strength is important to be able to function in life, but having a mental breakdown is often seen as a shameful thing.

Doesn't it seem that if more people were supportive of good mental health and did not shame people who are struggling that things would be better for all people?

It seems people are more tolerant of children struggling with mental health issues, than adults.  I suppose that adults  are supposed to know better and be able to figure things out better.

Life is a struggle and we all battle something each and every day.  Take time to take care of your mental health.  Think about how you might be taking care of your body,or your home, you are mindful of what you see.  Be mindful of the inner workings as well, for that is the generating center of everything else.

Physical exercise is important, as well as mediation and eating healthy foods.  If you neglect any of these, then you may find that your mental health suffers as well.  Balance in life can be difficult, but if more people started with working from the inside out, rather than the other way around, then coping with stress would not be such a struggle.

More on Anxiety

More on Anxiety by Dr. Hibbs

To Read more about Automatic Negative Thoughts or ANTS, go here

7. The three core biases of anxiety. 

As we have seen, our distress is largely caused by how we are thinking about any situation.  The most common ANT in anxiety is “fortune telling.”  That is, without always being aware of it, we are predicting that something bad will happen.  It is always helpful to try to identify the negative outcome that we are dreading.  When we do that, we will often find that we are allowing our thinking to be distorted by one or more of the following three mental biases: 

1. We might be overestimating the likelihood that the bad thing will happen.  The outcome we dread might be a very unlikely event, but we are reacting as if it was absolutely certain to happen.  “The doctor is going to tell me that I have an incurable disease.”  “The elevator will get stuck.”  “The boss will berate me if I ask for a raise.”   We can become so focused on the possible negative outcome that we fail to see that more neutral or even positive outcomes might be more likely.   If we cannot be absolutely certain that the bad outcome will not occur, we assume that it definitely will occur.

2. If the bad outcome occurs, we might be overestimating the consequences.  Yes, bad things happen, but we might be exaggerating the extent of their negative impact.   We might be telling ourselves that something that is merely unfortunate, troubling or inconvenient will be “awful,” “unbearable” or “a catastrophe.”  Illnesses can be treated.  There is nothing inherently dangerous about a stuck elevator.  Getting berated by the boss is unpleasant but it happens to people all the time and they don’t die.

3. If the bad outcome occurs, we might be underestimating our ability to cope.  When we are anxious, we seem to forget that we have skills, experiences, resources, and support systems that can help us cope.  If we have a serious illness, we can seek medical care.  If the elevator gets stuck, we can occupy the mind until help arrives.  If the boss berates us, we can handle it calmly and express our own thoughts and feelings appropriately.  We are all endowed with the ability to think things through, seek support if necessary, and engage in active problem solving.  Human beings can be very resilient and can bounce back from almost any untoward circumstance.

6.  Still more self-defeating attitudes

I can’t stand this.”  “This is awful.”  “I wouldn't be able to stand it if…”  All of these phrases suggest a perceived inability (or willingness) to endure anything that might be difficult, challenging or troubling.  A person says he will “go crazy” if he doesn't have anything to do.  Someone else says it is “awful” to be rejected or to be alone.  We all wish that life was always rosy, but it just isn't.  Things happen that are inconvenient, unfortunate, disappointing, embarrassing, or frustrating.  Yet, very few things happen that we can’t adapt to, bounce back from, or even grow from.   Yes, we do our best to prevent bad things from happening, but it’s rarely the end of the world if they do.

“I have to please everybody else.  It is awful to be disliked or rejected:” Have you ever noticed that even though you didn't like a particular person, you still wanted them to like you?  Some of us will go to any length to avoid the disapproval of others.  This includes a kind of “all or none thinking,” which says “If they dislike anything about me, they dislike me completely.”   With this mindset, any social situation becomes a performance in which we try to control the thoughts of others.  But how much control do we really have over the thoughts of others?  This self-defeating attitude is at the core of most social anxiety.  Sometimes, a person with this mindset will grow tired of this way of thinking, and will switch to the opposite extreme: “Other people be damned!  I don’t care what they think!”  This sounds very confident and brave, but people with this attitude come off as arrogant and abrasive and may suffer just as much as those who try too hard to please others.  I think that balance is called for here.  Yes, it’s better to be liked and accepted, but it is not the end of the world if we aren't.  We can choose to treat others with kindness and courtesy, and take our chances with how they feel about us.  

“Other people are all critical and judgmental:” This self-defeating attitude often accompanies the one immediately above, and is at the core of most social anxiety.  So, even though we falsely believe that it is essential to please others, it is very unlikely we will.  No wonder we’re anxious! Are there critical and judgmental people in the world?  Of course.  But is it helpful to assume that everyone is that way?  Again, it’s best to assume people are neutral until we can clear evidence otherwise. 

“I have to control my thoughts.  Bad thoughts make me a bad person!”  This is a kind of mental and emotional perfectionism. The truth is that thoughts come and go and it’s very unlikely we can completely control our thinking process. We  can only control how we respond to our thoughts.  Likewise, even the most morally upright people have negative thoughts.  Trying too hard not to think something almost guaranties that we will think it.  Yes, our thoughts are important, but no one thought defines who we are. 

5. More self-defeating attitudes:

We have learned that our ANTS emerge from certain underlying self-defeating attitudes of which we might be unaware.  Here are a few more:

“People are against me.” I hear this all the time.  “My boss has it in for me.”  “No one in the church talks to me.”  “The teacher picks on me.”  In almost any social setting, they see themselves as being discriminated against.  They feel that they are the victim or scapegoat.  They can cite examples to support their belief, but they do not notice anything good that happens to them.  Of course, there can sometimes be some truth to their perceptions, but it is often their own negative attitude that has led to their being disliked.   A wise person once told me, “People don’t do things against you; they do them for themselves.”  I find it useful to assume that people are at least neutral toward me until I have clear evidence to the contrary.  If I have clear evidence that someone doesn't like me, I will consider my options.  Should I try to change their perception or can I accept their negative opinion?

“Any failure is a sign of my inadequacy.” Any worthwhile endeavor involves some element of risk.  In spite of our best efforts, we might fail to reach our goal.  Some people believe that any failure is so shameful that they don’t want to try anything if there is any chance of failures.  They use this fear of failure as an excuse not to try anything worthwhile.  Many dreams are never fulfilled because the fear of failure got in the way.

“I’m not as good as other people.”  “I don’t measure up.”  Although it is only natural to compare ourselves to others, this habit is the source of much of our misery.  We look around and notice that others seem smarter, richer, or more attractive.  This leads to envy, resentment, and low self-esteem.  Rather than comparing yourself to others, I advocate making the best use of the talents, qualities, and good fortune that have been given to you.  You are not in a race or contest with anyone else.  You have your own life path to follow.  Follow it and don’t concern yourself with what others are doing.

“I must not feel anxious.”  “I cannot tolerate any anxiety.”  It is normal to feel some anxiety when confronted with a difficult situation.  Sometimes moderate anxiety is even a good thing, because it means we are taking on a new challenge.  However, some people have become so afraid of anxiety that they will go to great lengths to avoid or suppress it.  Unfortunately, this just serves to make the anxiety worse and causes people to miss out on life.  If you can accept and even embrace your anxiety, your life will be richer and fuller.  The paradox is that one of the best ways to reduce your anxiety is to be willing to have it.

4. Silent assumptions underneath the ANTS

If you pay attention to your ANTS, you will invariably see certain patterns or themes.  Cognitive therapists use several terms to describe these patterns: “schemas,” “silent assumptions,” “core beliefs,” and “self-defeating attitudes.”  We might not be aware of these attitudes until someone points them out to us.  For example, a person with social anxiety might be harboring the idea that “Everyone one must like me, and it’s horrible if they don’t.”  As long as he holds on to that idea, he will continue to be plagued by his social anxiety.  However, if he can challenge this silent assumption and replace it with “I would prefer if people like me, but it’s Ok if some don’t,” he will feel a lot better.  In my next few postings, I will be describing some common self-defeating attitudes. 

“Things must turn out the way I want.”  It is natural to want things your way, but when you think that they must, you are setting yourself up for frustration.  There are things we can control and things we can’t, so we can’t always expect things to go our way.  A secret of happiness is to be able to adapt to difficult situations.  A healthier perspective would be, “I will do what I can to make things turn out my way, but I will adapt if they don’t.”

“People should meet my expectations.”  Much of our anger and hurt feelings come from expecting someone to behave the way we want.  If you expect a friend to remember your birthday, you will be hurt if she doesn’t.  If you expect that your spouse should always listen to you attentively, you will be angry when he doesn’t. It is natural to have expectations, but we are wise to not hold on to them lightly.  I find it best to focus on my behavior.  Am I treating people honorably?  Am I expressing my wishes clearly and respectfully?  If so, then that is all I can do.  I cannot control what someone else does.

“It’s always my fault.”  It is always wise to take responsibility for our actions.  It does no good to blame other people or outside influences (e.g. the economy) for our problems.  However, neither is it helpful to heap criticism on ourselves when things turn out badly.  A hallmark of maturity is the ability to recognize our part in the problem, learn from our mistakes, and do our best to accept the consequences.  Having done that, do we really need to berate ourselves?

“It’s never my fault, it’s always your (their) fault.”  Some people cannot tolerate any criticism and will deflect it in any way possible.  This sensitivity to criticism may stem from other self-defeating attitudes such as “It is awful to be criticized,” or “Any criticism at all means that I am inadequate.”  When we hold these beliefs, we come off as arrogant and we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to honestly look at ourselves and learn from our mistakes.                                   

3. More ANTS:

I have been discussing how much of our emotional distress is created by our Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS).  Here are some more common varieties of ANTS.  Which of these do you recognize in yourself?

A. Mind reading: We assume that people are having negative thoughts about us.  At a party my thoughts are, “These people don’t like me.”  If you have to give a brief talk to some co-workers, you think, “They will be able to tell that I’m anxious and I will make a fool of myself.”  When we think this way, we turn every social event into a performance during which we must control the thoughts of other people.  Mind reading is the cause of social anxiety.

B. “Should” thoughts: When we think this way, we are requiring the world, other people, and even ourselves must live up to our expectations.  It is an unwillingness to accept what is.  I am angry at you because you “should” have remembered my birthday.  I feel guilty and inadequate because I “should” be making more money.  “Should” thoughts about others provoke anger; thoughts toward ourselves provoke guilt.

C. Labeling: We apply negative labels toward others and ourselves.  The list of labels is endless: lazy, stupid, rude, insensitive, overly sensitive, and so on.  In reality, labels are not accurate because no one is always lazy, stupid, rude, etc.  When we label ourselves, we feel guilty or inadequate.  When we label others, we feel angry.

D. Discounting the positive: We minimize the significance of our accomplishments, successes and blessings.  Somehow, they just “don’t count.”  “Yes, I won the tennis match, but my opponent had a bad day.”  “Yes, I was accepted by many colleges, but I didn't get into the best ones.” “Yes, I got the promotion, but there wasn't much competition.”                  

E: Emotional reasoning:  We believe that our emotions are an accurate reflection of reality.  In the middle of a panic attack, I feel like “I’m going crazy” or “I have to get out of here.”  Because I feel like a “loser,” I must be one. If I feel rejected, I must have been rejected.  Since I feel guilty, I must have done something wrong.    

Varieties of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS)

2. Varieties of ANTS

We have learned that much of our distress is caused by certain habitual patterns of thinking called ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts).  Several different varieties of ANTS have been identified.  Here are a few

A.  All or none thinking:  We think in rigid, black or white categories.   If we don’t make a 100 on the test, we feel like a complete failure.  If someone doesn’t like something about me, they dislike everything about me.  This can lead to anxious perfectionism and low self-esteem. 

B. Over generalization:   One or two events make us believe that something is “always” or “never” true.  Here are some common examples: “Nothing ever works out for me.” “I’m always messing up”  “I’m never going to succeed at this.”  Over generalization is often the basis for pessimism, negativity, discouragement and low self-esteem.

C.  Fortune Telling:   We are predicting that something bad will happen.  We will flunk out of school, lose our job, or catch a serious disease.  Often we are overestimating the likelihood that the bad thing will happen.  Fortune telling is the basis of almost all anxiety and worry.

D. Catastrophic Thinking: This often goes along with Fortune Telling.  Not only will the bad thing happen, but the consequences will be terrible.  We are overestimating the consequence of the bad event and underestimating our ability to cope.  So, it would be “terrible” if we are late or “awful” if we get a low grade on a test.  Minor failings, setbacks, frustrations, and mistakes are seen as more awful than they really are.  Catastrophic thinking is the basis for severe anxiety.

E. Mental Filter: We focus on the most negative aspect of a situation and fail to notice what might be more positive (or at least neutral).  For example, you get a number of positive responses to your presentation, but all you can think about is the one critical response.  You focus on one undesirable trait and lose sight of your positive qualities.  If you have free time, all you can think about is how bored you are and don’t look for positive things to do. If you are stuck in heavy traffic, you focus on how “awful” it is that you have to wait and don’t think about how nice it is to have a car.  This is the “glass half-empty” approach.   Mental Filter is often the basis for depression, pessimism, discouragement, and low self-esteem.

Remember, the presence of ANTS does not mean that you are crazy or stupid.  Your ANTS will always be with you.  The key is to recognize your ANTS, question them and experiment with new ways of thinking.    

1. In the end, you choose your emotional response to any situation

This is the most important principle and every succeeding principle depends on it.  Here’s an illustration:  Suppose you are driving to a job interview and are stuck in traffic.   What you feel in that situation will depend on what you think.  Let’s say your thoughts are something like, “This is terrible.  Nothing ever works out for me.  I’m always messing up.  I’ll never get a job.”    Obviously those thoughts will cause you to be extremely upset.

But let’s say your thoughts are something like, “I need to learn from this and leave earlier next time.  All I can do is get there as soon as I can and try to explain to them what happened.  I hope they’ll understand.”  You’re still not going to be happy, but you’ll be a little less upset

That is not to say that choosing your response is easy.  We all have habits of thinking that are so ingrained that they are “automatic.”  We don’t intend to think this way.  We might not even be aware of the thoughts.  Nevertheless, they are always there.   Many of these thinking habits are negative, so we refer to them as ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts).   Much of our unhappiness is caused by our ANTS.

So you got ANTS, I got ANTS; all God’s children got ANTS.  There is no point in being ashamed of them or even trying to stop them.  The mind doesn't know how to NOT think something (e.g. Try real hard to NOT think of a pink elephant.)

What you can control is how you choose to respond to your ANTS.  Do you take them as absolute truth or can you allow yourself to explore a different way of thinking?  It is your CHOICE where you go from there.

That is why I say “In the end…” you choose your response.  You might not be able to control the first flash of emotion, but all human beings have the capacity to stop, reflect, and figure out how you want to think and feel about any situation.

So when you are upset, wait!  Become aware of your ANTS and use your human capacity to think things through.  Your distress will be lessened and you will be more likely to find an effective solution to the problem. .  However, if you continue to feed your ANTS with more negative thinking, your distress will increase, and it will be more difficult to find an effective solution to the problem.   

Anxiety

Anxiety, ugh!! The terrible emotion based on fear.

Notice how anxiety is always based on the future.

The fear that you will not be good enough in some way.

Anxiety is based on a fear of some sort of failure.

Shel Silverstein writes a little poem  Whatif

We all have some anxiety, but sometimes we get STUCK.

So what will you do?  You will need to change the dread in the head. Here is some bad poetry to help you understand.

Oh it is time for our commercial sponsor, Bad Poetry Inc.

The Dread in Your Head, by Cassandra Gadouas, LMHC

The dread in your head, runs a rage, like an actor on a stage.

It holds you fast like an animal in a cage.

The dread in your head can make you wish you were dead.

It keeps you stuck, telling yourself you have bad luck.

Watch the thoughts, there in your head.

What  they are saying will determine how you are led.

If the bad stuff gets in - you guarantee  yourself a no win.

See if you can make some changes and begin again.

Change the chatter because it  is what’s the matter.

 Telling you to be happy or sad or angry or mad.

You can choose a dose of cheer or fear.

Your thoughts are the car that you can steer.

Why do you hold on and stay stuck with the dread in your head?

Why don’t you think of something else instead?

What are the messages that you hold dear?

Can you think of something else this time of year?

Get up and get on, don’t stay in the darkness too long.

Find something productive to do.

Don’t sit and stew.

Go help your neighbor instead.

Then little by little you can peel away the layers of dread.

And insert some possibilities in your head.

Remember to be good to yourself and gentle too.

 You’ll find it is like solving a mystery clue by clue,

And you can find some amazing things in YOU!

And now give yourself a break from the stress.

A Peaceful Place

-

All About You

I would like to share a post with you.  You are all you have in life and you need to do what is best for you so you can be your best.  If others are pulling you down, then you need to pull away.

You’re allowed. by Brigitte

You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.
- Daniell Koepke

Source: http://internal-acceptance-movement.tumblr.com/

Brigitte | April 2, 2014 at 12:57 pm | URL: http://wp.me/p449Bm-Iq

Conflict

Conflict

Isn’t it nice to be clear on stuff?  For example, you plan a trip and you know where you are going and how to get there, you have everything in order.  It will be wonderful. You get in your car and travel along quite nicely for a long while, and suddenly  you have a flat tire, out in the middle of nowhere. Your jack is not working properly.  Uh-oh! The conflict begins. You may belittle yourself for not checking the jack, or you may blame someone else. Or, you may find that it is not that big of a deal and know that somehow you will figure it out. In this way, you allow the experience to be your guide and you are able to flow with the situation. But it is rarely the case.

Life in the physical form seems to be a constant battle.  I love my meditation where there is peace, serenity, and everlasting beauty, but then I must return to the physical plane and face the many conflicts that seem to be inherit within it.

However, conflict can be a guide to help us grow and make necessary changes in our life.  Certainly, the changes are not always welcome, as they are not a part of our master plan, but if we allow it, we will learn valuable lessons from the experience.

Conflict is not comfortable for most of us, and for some it is downright horrifying, but it seems it is here to stay nonetheless.   Conflict is always a challenge, some welcome it, most don’t.

 You can use the storm of conflict to your advantage, and after the dust has settled, you will be able to see more clearly how the experience has benefited you.  If you do not find any benefit, then you may find yourself being angry and bitter, unable to move on from the experience and stuck in a place of constant torment.

If you are stuck in a tormented place, then it is time to get more input into the situation, so that you are able to change your perspective and move on.  You may do this by talking to family, friends, or a trained professional. You may find solace in self-help material, whether written, or audio-visual.

Here are a few other places that comment on conflict:

 Conflict Perspective

 Conflict inrelationships 

 Conflict in theworkplace

Ecclesiastes3:1-8 

Helping Kids Overcome Failure

Everyone can benefit from this information.

How do you teach children about failure?

Failure can be a good teacher and help people to grow and try harder.

More Relationship Tips and a Free Class For Couples.

Today I want to share with you the results of some ground-breaking new research about relationships . . . It shows that even as complicated as relationships can be, there are really just a few simple mistakes that make an otherwise good relationship go bad: You aren’t being good sharers. And this isn’t about sharing bank accounts or closet space; it means sharing what you think, what you love and who you really are. Couples with a high degree of intimacy—who shared their innermost thoughts—were 62% more likely to describe their relationship as happy.   You don’t argue enough (seriously!) But you have to argue in the right way, with respect, care and love, focused on finding compromises and solutions to any disagreements that arise (and they do arise!) When couples experience conflict, they are 45% less likely to feel pessimistic about their relationship if they can recognize feelings of caring from their partner during the disagreement.   You aren’t friends . . . or at least you don’t act like it. Friends support each other when needed, enjoy each other’s company, and make each other laugh. In studies of people in happy relationships lasting more than three decades, the quality of friendship between the partners was the single most frequently cited factor in the relationship’s success. Hi, Cass, it’s Laura! Today I want to share with you the results of some ground-breaking new research about relationships . . . It shows that even as complicated as relationships can be, there are really just a few simple mistakes that make an otherwise good relationship go bad: You aren’t being good sharers. And this isn’t about sharing bank accounts or closet space; it means sharing what you think, what you love and who you really are. Couples with a high degree of intimacy—who shared their innermost thoughts—were 62% more likely to describe their relationship as happy.   You don’t argue enough (seriously!) But you have to argue in the right way, with respect, care and love, focused on finding compromises and solutions to any disagreements that arise (and they do arise!) When couples experience conflict, they are 45% less likely to feel pessimistic about their relationship if they can recognize feelings of caring from their partner during the disagreement.   You aren’t friends . . . or at least you don’t act like it. Friends support each other when needed, enjoy each other’s company, and make each other laugh. In studies of people in happy relationships lasting more than three decades, the quality of friendship between the partners was the single most frequently cited factor in the relationship’s success. Discover How To Stop Making These Common Relationship Mistakes Right Now I encourage you to take a look at your current relationship or, if you’re not in a relationship now, look back at one that ended. Do any of those mistakes sound familiar to you? If they do, the good news is that you can turn those unhealthy patterns around . . . fast! In the upcoming, all-new Art of Love Relationship Series,you’ll discover all the leading-edge tools, techniques and insights you’ll need to help you do exactly that, and then adopt the rightrelationship skills you need to support a more connected, moresatisfying relationship than you’ve ever had before. And the whole series is offered as our gift to you!   Register for The Art of Love at No Charge and Receive INSTANT Access to the Pre-Event Videos with Deepak Chopra, Dr. Jenn Berman & Michael Bernard Beckwith Most of us want to be truly known by someone—to be in a deeply committed relationship in which we feel seen, heard and understood. But we often lack the relationship skills and habits that build such closeness and connection. And sometimes our habits even inadvertently push our partners (or prospective partners) away! That’s why I’m so excited to tell you all about this new comprehensive series that’s actually like a roadmap for anyone—single or in a committed relationship—who wants to find that deeper connection and lasting love. The Art of Love Relationship Series was designed to not only save you time and money, but years of frustration and unnecessary heartache! And to do that, bestselling author Arielle Ford has brought together 55 of the world’s most respected love and relationship experts to share their newest and best strategies in this transformative 9-day online event starting Tuesday, April 1st. And to jumpstart an immediate and meaningful change in your life, I'm passing along instant access to three powerful pre-event videos that will help you . . . Identify and break unconscious habits that stand in the way of the intimacy you crave Affair-proof your relationship by creating a connection so strong neither partner is even tempted to stray! Create a truly spiritual connection with your partner—even if you’re on different spiritual paths or one partner isn’t spiritually focused at all Register for the Series at No Charge and Receive INSTANT Access to Pre-Event Videos with Deepak Chopra, Dr. Jenn Berman & Michael Bernard Beckwith These videos alone are powerful enough to help you create significant momentum in your relationship and in your life . . . And they’re just the beginning of what’s in store for you over the 9 amazing days of seminars and workshops that will help you overcome unconscious habits that block intimacy, and then instantly adopt new techniques to find and sustain a whole new level of closeness with your partner. The incredible faculty for the series includes Dr. John Gray, Harville Hendrix, Alison Armstrong, Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks, Neale Donald Walsch, Arielle Ford, Claire Zammit, Ph.D(c), Lisa Nichols, and Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT, along with so many others. And you’ll have access to all of the seminars at absolutely no charge, right from the comfort of your own home and computer. In this extraordinary series, you’ll discover how to . . . End destructive habits like blame, judgment and criticism that stand in the way of intimacy Master effective communication skills to get your needs met with ease Restore trust and heal from betrayal so you can finally get past your past Explore creative new ways to deepen intimacy and connection—even amidst the busyness and distractions of modern life Have a more soulful, satisfying sex life Deepen your friendship through fun and play And so much more . . . And all of it will help you create a truly connected and authentic partnership with the one you love—or the one who’s on the way! Check out more here